Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
