I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
