thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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