I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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