oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
