I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
