I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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