please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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