3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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