I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
