sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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