Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
