It's just like the Real World with babies
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
