my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
