I can't watch pbs sober anymore
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
