sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
