I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
