I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Pappa wants mamma naked
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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