You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
