Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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