I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
