sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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