she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I had to cum in my sink.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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