I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
