It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
