you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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