and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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