Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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