Me too!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
