when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
