So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
