i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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