I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
