I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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