after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
