Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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