I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
