if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
