Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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