great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
