I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
