we have officially lost it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
