Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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