Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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