i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
