Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
