I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
