We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
