Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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