All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
