u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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