So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
