I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
