God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
