I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
