Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
